Over the years, working with couples to improve their fertility has taught me many lessons. The most important lessons are ones that cannot be found in research articles, textbooks or Dr. Google. Having a positive mindset is more beneficial than any acupuncture treatment or prescription that I can provide.
Every woman on this journey knows quite well all the ups and downs associated with the fertility process. There is hope felt during an embryo transfer, insemination, or a natural timed cycle, and then a feeling of defeat if the attempt is unsuccessful. One woman I work with explained that she felt as if she were experiencing a ‘mini death’ where parts of her had given up and she was mourning the loss of a potential life. I get it. It is devastating, exhausting, and painful. No one else understands this more than other women going through this process. Many self-proclaimed Type-A women often describe this aspect of their life as a ‘repeated failure’ and they take it quite personally! Here is a goal, unlike everything else in their lives, that they are unable to attain.
Is there a magic pill, diet, hormone that can address it all? No, of course not. What I have seen in many successful cases is a belief that pregnancy is possible, even against all odds. I have seen women with low AMH scores, 4.0 and below, conceive naturally. I have witnessed women aged 41 plus who were told IVF was their only chance to get pregnant take a month break and then conceive naturally. Other women have been told that surrogacy or adoption was their only option and these women too had conceived on their own. I have seen couples in the adoption process have a child of their own. I have also seen couples down to their last frozen embryo transfer, be successful! What did these women have in common? I believe they allowed themselves to ‘let go.’ There was a shift in their thoughts from ‘this can’t happen’, ‘why is my body failing me?’, ‘why am I the only one not pregnant?’ to ‘This will happen, when it is the right time’, ‘I love my body and know it can get pregnant’, ‘I am not alone!’
I believe all women are fertile. I believe our bodies possess this wonderful, amazing capacity to bring forth new life. Some women require a little assistance and others need a lot more. Whether it’s the body or the mind that needs balancing, the two must be addressed. I believe this journey can teach us much more about ourselves. When you are at a ‘low’, dig deep and find strength. You are stronger than you know. Have faith and have courage. It is only a matter of time. Be resilient and never, ever give up hope.
7 Tips to for Optimize Fertility:
– Seek support. Feel supported by a comforting friend or therapist.
– Find an outlet. Dance or sing or run out your stress.
– Record your thoughts. Create a journal and let your thoughts find peace.
– Take a break. Don’t hesitate on booking that trip! A quick escape to Niagara-on- the-lake can do wonders for changing perspective.
– Avoid Dr. Google (limit yourself to 1 search on fertility sites per week!)
– Remain positive. Seek the company of others who share your positive thoughts and words.
Good-luck on your fertility journey!